


Be Careful What You Wish For

by zazaah



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, Femslash February, Lesbian, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-09-22 02:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9579383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazaah/pseuds/zazaah
Summary: SQ AU Emma is a biomedicine student at Storybrooke university, where she meets Regina, her biophysics teacher, who soon becomes her biggest platonic crush ever. But will this relationship remain merely platonic?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters. I don't even pay my bills so technically I don't own anything. English is not my first language so pardon me for any mistakes, I'll fix them as soon as I can! This story came to me as a dream. Hope you like it! Stay hydrated!

Emma was on the third year of her biomedicine course. One more year and she would get her degree. She was studying at Storybrooke's University on an athletic scholarship she had earned due to her amazing ability to get from one point to the other faster than people usually did - also known as running. She was great at it, and she had been doing it forever; it was a way to clear her mind and some psychiatrist would probably say that this was how she learned how to deal with her troubled mind. But how not to have a troubled mind when you had been going from foster home to foster home your whole life, always feeling abandoned, always having your hopes built up when a new family picked you up only to be left down when they gave up on you. It's not that she wasn't a good kid - her first foster parents found out they were expecting as soon as they adopted her, and raising two kids wasn't on their budget. The second filled for a divorce 5 months after getting her. The third just didn't bound. And suddenly she was too old for anyone to want her. So yes, she ran. But she didn't want to run her whole life - not from her problems and not literally either. Running was just something that opened doors on her life but once she finished college what she really wanted was to become a scientist.  
This semester she would be taking fewer classes and focusing on her lab experience, which would be much needed if she wanted a job later. She didn't know yet where she would get her internship, but she had 2 weeks after classes started to decide it.  
She was just back from her Christmas vacations. She had spent them with August, a friend she made during her years in the foster system. He had become her family. They always tried to spend big holidays together, since for so long they were all each other had. Now that she was in college she had other friends like Ruby, whom she shared a room and most of her classes with and Belle, a literature student who worked at the library with whom she had started a friendship after spending so much time together at what they liked to “the books home”. They were both great and Emma was grateful to have someone to talk to now and then.  
She arrived at her room early on Sunday, just to find Ruby laying in bed watching some TV show on her computer.   
"Hey, Rubes" Emma said touching the girls arm so she would take the earphones off and acknowledge her presence.  
"Emma! I missed you, how was Christmas?"   
"It was good. I went to Boston to be with August. I stayed in his apartment and got a job as a saleswoman at Forever 21 for the Christmas period, so I got to same some money" Emma said with a smile while opening her backpack "And with the sales I got to buy myself a new laptop" She said as she took a macbook pro out of her bag.   
"Finally Emma! That fossil you carried around shouldn't even be called a computer."  
“Don’t you dare say this about Harriett, she and I went through a lot together” Emma looked angrily at Ruby, pressing her lips together and frowning her eyebrows. Ruby laughed and Emma’s face quickly relaxed into a smile "and how was yours? I see you dyed your hair" Some of the girl’s hair strands were dyed red.  
"Oh! The red. Beautiful right? It’s so me! About the holidays… Same old, same old. Worked at granny's, ate a lot on Christmas eve, went out with a few guys, a few girls; and you, any girlfriend? Kissed anyone on new year’s eve?"  
"Ha. No You know I don’t... I don’t even have time for this right now"  
"Right." Ruby answered with a suspicious tone. She wasn't insisting on the subject because she knew Emma was not open about these things. But since she knew Emma the girl had never had a partner. She only knew the girl was a lesbian because the subject came up once at a party when they were talking about Killian Jones beauty (turns out Emma didn't agree with Ruby and thought the guy looked like a filthy pirate). She just felt that sometimes Emma was so alone, but the blonde didn’t seem bothered by it at all. "Anyway how are your classes this semester?"  
"Uh.." Emma didn't know them by heart yet, so she had to open her computer to look for it. "wait..." She had written them in some note, she just didn't know where the note wa- "here! It's advanced biochemistry with Mr. Gold, Celular biology with Mr. Smith and Biophysics with Ms. Mills, you?"  
“Same. Except for Mr. Gold. I got chemistry with Mr. Nolan and physics with Ms. Gomez. I see you got less classes than me this semester, it almost doesn’t seem like you miss overachiever”  
“Yes, I have to do some lab work this year, find myself somewhere to start an internship. And I can’t stop training. My times weren’t great last semester and the regionals are coming; I don’t want to lose this scholarship.”

 

“EMMA WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE” Ruby said as she shook the girl on her bed, trying to wake her.  
“What are you tal-“ Emma reached for her side desk trying to find her phone “FUCK it’s 7:30. Fuck fuck fuck I forgot to set the alarm” she jumped out of bed, almost fainting due to the sudden change in posture, and grabbed the first pair of jeans and blouse she found. She quickly went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, threw some water on her face and put her hair in the best ponytail she could make. When she came back to the room Ruby was still putting on her shoes. Emma grabbed both their backpacks and hurried the brunette “let’s go; the building is 20 minutes away and it’s already 7:35”.   
“I want to kill the past me that decided that a class at 8a.m. was a good idea”  
“And I want to kill the present you, COME ON”  
The girls ran out of their apartment building. Emma tried to keep the faster pace once they hit the street but Ruby was already out of breath  
“How is that possible?”  
“I’m sorry but I’m not a professional runner. Not even an amateur. I just… don’t run.”  
Emma was pissed at herself for forgetting to set the alarm but even with Ruby’s slower pace they were able to get into the classroom at 7:58. They looked around for places to sit and found available seats on the second row on the far left. They let their bodies fall into the chairs and as soon as Emma felt more relaxed the clock hit 8 and the sound of heels hitting the wood floor invaded the room.


	2. Chapter 2

“Good morning class, my name is Regina Mills and I will be your professor on Biophysics this semester”. The woman in front of the class wore a black pencil skirt matched with a silk white blouse. On her foot were black Louboutins, whose red sole matched perfectly the tone of her lipstick. Her hair was black, straight and short, ending just above her shoulder. She put her things down on her desk and started writing her name on the board. “I have sent you all the course’s program last week. All information necessary should be there but if you have any additional doubts you can send me an e-mail or find me at my office during my office hours” She said, now facing the students. “Today’s class is about radioisotopes. Let’s start with a little question to see if anyone read any of the material: who discovered radioactivity?”  
“Becquerel” a man’s voice coming from the front row quickly answered.  
“Right. Every semester there’s someone to save the class! While Röntgen discovered and named the x-rays in 1885, it was only in 1896 that Becquerel found certain minerals emanating radiation that penetrated black paper and caused fogging of an unexposed photographic plate. What is interesting, however, is that the term radioactivity was actually created by Marie Curie, his doctorate student who discovered that actually only certain types of minerals had that property, like radium and polonium, both discovered by her. I like to start my course with this story because Marie was a woman ahead of her time, winner of two nobel prizes. A woman. And to this day it is still hard to be a woman in science, but…”

“Emma!” Ruby poked the girl’s arm painfully

“Ouch!” the blonde protested, “It hurts!”

“I’ve called you five times, but you were oh so absorbed in class you didn’t listen. Do you have a pencil?”

The blonde grabbed her pencil case and threw it into Ruby’s desk “Grab whatever you want”  
Ruby grabbed a pencil, put the pencil case back on Emma’s desk and leaned towards the girl, speaking in a low voice “She’s hot, huh?” the brunette was smiling teasingly at Emma who replied with a simple “shush” and turned her attention back to class. Yes, Regina was hot. In fact, she was extremely hot. But there was something more. The way she talked, like she was above everyone else, like she was a superior being. When she was teaching she looked like giant, even though without her heels she couldn’t be taller than 5’6’’. Her voice was imposing, like her figure, and Emma just couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. The few times that their eyes met, Emma felt a shock running through her body, lifting every hair on her arms. Those brown eyes were penetrating. Emma was absorbed. Ruby kept staring at her face and couldn’t help but smile. It seems like the unreachable girl finally has a crush.

*************************************************

“Belle, did you know that Emma has the biggest crush ever on our biophysics professor?” Ruby said to the other brunette in a provoking and joking tone, keeping her eyes on Emma to see how the girl would react. Belle looked at both of them confused.  


“I don’t” Emma protested as her face blushed, and look at Belle to give her some explanations “She is hot, her class was amazing, but it is just a small normal platonic crush”

“You were drooling” Ruby teased again. Emma made a ball out of napkin and threw it in the girl’s direction, but missing the hit.

“Awn, your face is red!” Belle said as she put her palm on Emma’s cheek “and hot! I have to meet the woman who finally captured your heart”

“Well, she’s actually entering the store right now” Ruby said, indicating discreetly who she was with her head. The girls were sitting at a booth on the far end of the cafeteria. Ruby was the only one facing the door so Belle would have to make a full 180˚ turn to look at her. And she did. Discretely. She quickly turned back around and looked at Emma with a surprised look on her face “Oh, she IS hot. And I didn’t know you were into older women Emma, how old is she? 38? 40?”

“Apparently she is into older and meaner women; Killian Jones was telling me that her nickname around students is Evil Queen”

“Killian is an idiot, I don’t know why you even talk to him.” Emma truly hated that guy. But the truth is she really didn’t know much about Regina, and she didn’t look like a sweet little cupcake on that class.

“Emma, the important thing is that YOU like her. This evil queen fame just means less competition. And look, the age difference is not to big, I’ve seen relationships with bigger.”

“Relationsh- .. Belle! She’s probably not even into girls. And this is 100% platonic, it’s not like I really hope for anything to happen” Emma knew her words weren’t true and that there wasn’t anything platonic about it. In fact all she could think during classes was about kissing Regina and hugging her and how she really needed to know this woman more. “I have to go. Running. I have to go to my running practice” Emma said suddenly. Shestood up and grabbed her bag, leaving some money on the table “It was nice having lunch with you two, I see you later at the library Belle?”

“Sure! Have a good practice Emma” The girl smiled and waved her goodbye.

*************************************************

“Emma your times are better than ever today. Did you practice during your vacations?” coach Beiste handed Emma a towel and a bottle of water.

“It’s just… lot of energy, I guess” That was a lie. Emma knew she always ran better when there was something she didn’t want to think about bothering her mind. And that something was a beautiful female specimen who was way out of her league. And how she had to find a way to get to know her better if she wanted to stand a chance. Find a way to get closer to her… I have an idea! And it’s two rabbits in one shot! But God what am I doing to myself. She will be totally indifferent to me and I’ll be sad… fuck… why am I so hooked?

Emma threw the towel and the bottle on the floor and started a new lap on the track.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hello, Emma Swan, right?” a tall brown haired man asked her as he opened the door to the laboratory.

“Yes.” Emma’s hands were sweating and she couldn’t keep her leg still. 

“My name is Neal Cassidy, I’ll be responsible for your interview, come in, please.” Emma stepped in the lab. It was a big place, filled with students, from graduate to post-doctorate, doing experiments and studying. “As you know, our laboratory focuses on the study of electrophysiology. We work with both neurons and cardiomyocytes, do you already know if you have any preference?”

“Oh, definitely cardiomyocytes. They beat.” Emma said jokingly, trying to ease the tension. Neal smiled at the girl’s comment. “First time I ever heard that argument. Have you ever seen one in a petri dish?” The girl shook her head “I can show you one before we leave, they are amazing. Anyway, we have two main professors here – Regina Mills and David Nolan. Professor Mills cannot take any more students at the moment, so this interview will be to fulfill a spot under David’s orientation, is that ok?”

Oh well, that will have to do. “Yeah, sure” Emma put a fake smile on her face. At least I’ll get to see her during lab’s meetings. 

“All right, come into my office then. Let’s see your curriculum”

******************************

Emma was seated on a booth at the cafeteria, reading comics to spend some time while she waited for Ruby to have lunch, when a pixie haired girl approached her.

“Hey! It’s Emma right?” A bright smile adorned the girl’s face. Her skin was white as the snow, contrasting intensely with her black hair. Her face had the gentle features of a princess.

“Yes.” Emma knew she had seen the girl before but she couldn’t remember when. “Sorry, you are?”

“My name is Mary Margaret. We haven’t been formally introduced yet. I saw you today at the laboratory when you went there for your interview; I do an internship there. Did you get the spot? Do you mind if I seat?” 

“Yes, I actually did. And no, I don’t mind.”

“Yay you!” The girl said as she took her seat across from Emma. “Are you a David’s or a Regina’s?”

“Uh... David’s?” Emma seemed a little confused by the question and Mary Margaret laughed at her.

“That’s how we divide ourselves. Did you know that they actually hate each other? Anyway… David is great. He’s a gentleman, very intelligent, very supportive. He’s a prince.” The girl’s face lit when she talked about him, her eyes got bigger and the corners of her mouth were frozen angled up “I’m a Regina’s” the moment she said that her face lost it’s spark and her gaze dropped “She is great too… she is just…” now she looked into the blonde eyes again, her mouth twisted, trying to form a smile but failing to. Regina really seems to have a bad reputation Emma thought to herself.

“I’m taking a class with her. She is really good at teaching, I liked her.” 

“Oh she is. Don’t get me wrong Regina is amazing. She is just… She is very private and not the best at having personal relationships. Or demonstrating feelings towards others.” 

“Emma! And…” Ruby arrived at the table and looked at the girl who was seating there “Hi, my name is Ruby” she said extending her hand to the pixie haired girl, who instantly shook her hand in return “Hi”

“Ruby, this is Mary Margaret, she works at the lab where I’ll start my internship.”

“Oh, so you chose the lab after all! Which one is it?”

“It’s the electrophysiology one, in the biophysics building, right next to our dorm building”

“That’s great Emma!” Ruby was truly happy for her “But wait, isn’t that Regina’s lab? Emma, are you stalking her?” Mary Margaret looked at Ruby confused. Emma instantly blushed and was starting to say something in order to hush up Ruby but before she could elaborate a word Ruby was already talking “She has a crush on her.” The brunette explained to the pixie haired girl. Emma’s face was now as red as a tomato and Mary Margaret had her eyebrows raised and her mouth opened in surprise.

“Fuck” Emma put her hand on her forehead and looked down. She was completely ashamed “Look, it’s nothing… just old platonic student-teacher crush. And I’m not even under her orientation; I’m under Mr. Nolan’s”. 

“Oh my God, and here I was saying that she is basically a wall without feelings. That must have been hard for you to hear. I’m sorry, I didn’t know”

“No really it’s ok. It’s not like I would ever act on anything, she’s probably married and straight and… I don’t expect any feelings from her… look, I just chose her lab because I like being near her. Like, her vibe. She is intelligent and secure, I like that, and it’s a good role model. That really is all.” It was true. A little hope of one day having Regina to herself still lived inside of Emma’s mind, but she knew that the odds were contrary to that ever happening. Nevertheless, she needed to be near her. It was like Regina was a big magnet and Emma a piece of iron, inert and incapable of resisting. Emma always had a weak spot for intelligence.

“Awn, that’s sweet. But you know, she isn’t married, so there is a chance” Mary said “and you are a catch” a smile popped on her face again.

“I like her” Ruby said to Emma, pointing to Mary. The three of them laughed. “Do you want to have lunch with us?”

“Sure, why not”

******************************  
A month had gone by since their first encounter and Emma and Mary Margaret were now what one would call really good friends. They spent a lot of time together in the laboratory, helping on each other’s projects. On every opportunity they had, Emma would call the girl to hang with her, Ruby and Belle; the four of them always had a great time together.

“Emma, they are gathering for the meeting about stem cells, aren’t you coming?” 

“Fuu- yes, I’ll be there in just a second” Mary Margaret saved Emma’s life repeatedly. She was always reminding the girl about articles she had to read and meetings they were having. She was like a mother to her, even though they had the same age. She was just so much more responsible. “I’m just finishing this experiment”

Emma wrapped up what she was doing and went to the meeting. When she got there it had already started. She found a free spot next to Mary Margaret and tried to get there without attracting too much attention to her and to the fact that she was late. However, on her way to her place she bumped into the desk and made a bunch of pencils fall from it, making an annoyingly loud noise when they hit the marble floor. She picked them up quickly and sat, but the disturbance was enough for everybody to stop what they were doing and revert their attention to her. When she looked up all she could see was Regina rolling her eyes with an annoyed expression. Fuck. Emma quickly diverted her gaze to no place in particular, just trying to get away from the stares. After 5 seconds that seemed like an hour, the meeting resumed. They talked about maturation of stem cells into cardiomyocytes and some of the results the lab was having on their experiments. They always made graduate students watch the meetings and stimulated that they participate so that they would have a more thoroughly scientific formation. 

A student of Regina, Robin, was presenting his results when Regina suddenly stopped his presentation “There is something wrong about the way he analyzed his data. Can anyone tell me what it is?”

All the students starred at each other. Nobody spoke a thing. 

“No one?”

“He should have used a two-way ANOVA” Emma said in a low tone. She had been tense throughout the whole meeting because of the pencil incident, but if there was one thing she was good at, that thing was math.

“Ah, someone who understands statistics. Looks like dropping pencils and disturbing the meeting isn’t her only talent” Regina looked at the girl and smirked. Her gaze travelled through Emma’s body. When their eyes met, Regina rapidly diverted her attention back to the crowd and continued on explaining what was wrong with the guy’s analysis. Emma’s heart was racing. What is it about her that makes me so nervous?

In another half hour the meeting was over and everyone resumed their activities. Emma kind of expected Regina to talk to her and congratulate her on her participation, but that wasn’t like Regina, and it was silly of Emma to expect such thing. In fact, as soon as the meeting was over, Regina disappeared into her office, not even looking at Emma again. I just wanted some interaction to happen. Anything. Especially after that look. 

“Statistics girl!” Mary Margaret interrupted her thoughts. “Do you want a cup of coffee?” She said already heading her the cup. She knew Emma all to well; she knew she wouldn’t refuse it. 

“Thank you” Emma took a sip of the coffee.

Mary Margaret sat next to her. “Are we talking about how Regina ate you with her eyes or are we just ignoring the event?” She didn’t look at Emma, her tone was indifferent, like she was being sarcastic. 

“I’m not imagining things, right?”

“Girl, she looked at you like she was doing land recognition.” The sarcastic attitude went away and her voice was now full of excitement.

“Oh, don’t let me create false hopes.” They both laughed. “But you know, at the same time there was that commentary about me disturbing her meeting, I think she was pissed. She rolled her eyes when I dropped the pencils”

“She was definitely mad at you. At least at the beginning. But after it may have been just teasing? I don’t know. You know that her emotions are a complete mystery to me.”

“To you and me both, my friend”


	4. Chapter 4

It was 7a.m. on Monday and Emma was on the tracks practicing her running. She didn’t love running in the morning, but with her lab schedule this was the only free time she was having. 

“Good Emma! Another three laps and we are done for the day” Her coach was happy that her times were getting better.

The girl nodded and kept her pace. She had been training for an hour, her body completely covered in sweat. She couldn’t wait for a bath. 

On her way to completing her second lap she saw someone was standing on the end of the field, staring at the track. Wait is that…? It is Regina. The woman was wearing her usual pencil skirt/silk blouse look, holding some books on her hands while her hair was carried by the wind, playing freely around her head. What is she doing here? Emma reached a place on the track where she had to turn and run the other way, looking away from Regina. When she faced the place where the woman was standing again, she was already gone.

“That last lap was a awful. What happened?”

“Just tired” It was a lie, once again. The sight of Regina made her lose her focus completely. The woman was something that she once wanted to keep out of her mind, something that made her run better, but not today. Today she wanted to think about Regina. About why she was there, looking at her while she ran. “Can I take a shower?” The coach nodded and Emma ran to the bathroom. 

******************************

When Emma arrived at the classroom, at 7:55, Ruby was already there, and a free chair next to her waited for the blonde.

“Good morning, sunshine. Was the practice good?” 

“Yeah, all good” Emma answered absent-mindedly.

“Ok, what is not good?” Ruby knew that tone all too well.

“The craziest thing happened today. I swear that I saw Regina just outside of the field, looking at me while I ran” 

“Are you sure it was her?” Emma stared at Ruby raising an eyebrow “Okay it was her. And here was I thinking that you were the stalker.”

“Ha, not funny. She probably just passed there on her way here. The problem is that moment I saw her I lost all my focus. If she were wearing a shorter skirt I swear to God I would have fallen down. ”

“She got you wrapped around her fingers”

“God Ruby, remember all that I don’t want a relationship crap I told you girls? I’m not believing in my own words. Every time I see her my heart stops. Then beats really fast. This is not healthy.”

“I told you it was a major crush. I know these things.”

The clicking of heels invaded the place. Regina got into the classroom, put her things into her desk and connected her computer to the projector. As soon as things were set up she stood next to the board, waiting for the clock to reach 8 o’clock so she could start her class. Emma heard her getting in but didn’t turn around to look at her. She kept herself looking in Ruby’s direction “Check if she is not wearing a black pencil skirt, just above her knees, and a dark blue sleeveless silk shirt” Emma whispered to Ruby, who was turned in the teacher’s direction.

“She is... and please, don’t have a heart attack, but I think she is staring at you”

Emma rapidly turned around to look at Regina but the brunette quickly looked elsewhere, avoiding the eye contact. Emma looked back at Ruby, her cheeks pink. Ruby laughed at her face and before she could say anything the clock hit 8a.m. and the class started. There was no more exchange of looks during that class. Or at the lab that same day. Or during the weeks that followed. 

******************************

It was now March and Emma’s work at the lab was finally giving her some good results. She had spent the last week doing some pretty important experiments and today she would have her results. That is, if she could get to the lab without drowning. A sudden downpour had reached the city, and there she was, at half past seven in the evening, running like a crazy lady through the campus, holding tight to her backpack so it wouldn’t get too wet.

When she reached the lab she was soaking. She stayed out briefly so she would dry a little. While she was there, the lab door opened and Mary Margaret got out of it. “God, you are soaked”. The pixie haired stated the obvious.

“Unluckily the umbrella technology hasn’t reached my lands yet,” Emma joked, “Are you leaving already?”

“Already? I’m the last one in there. Are you arriving now?”

“Yes, have to finish that experiment. It won’t be ready for another hour.” 

“Awn Emma, I wish I could stay to keep you company.”

“It’s no problem, really. I’ll listen to some music and study. What are you doing now, studying?”

“Actually I have a date.”

“A date? Who is the lucky guy?”

“It’s actually… complicated. I’ll tell about it some other time, now I’ll go otherwise I’ll be late. Bye, sweetie.”

“Bye! Good luck with your hot date!”

After waving the girl goodnight Emma decided that she was the closest to dry that she could get and got into the lab. She went to the machine that had been running her experiment to check if everything was in order. Once she did that she found a table to put her things down, opened a book, and put some music on her cellphone. She had forgotten her earphones but since no one was in the lab having her music loud wouldn’t be a problem. 

40 minutes had passed and she was so absorbed in her music and reading that she didn’t notice the sound of someone entering the lab. 

“Good evening Miss Swan” 

Emma jumped. Regina had scared the hell out of her. She quickly grabbed her phone and turned off the music.

“Go-good evening” her voice was tremulous “Sorry, you scared me” Emma looked at Regina in the eyes. She had missed that; she just didn’t wish this would happen in such circumstances. Her hair was a mess because of the rain, she had no make up on and the water made her sweater look dirty. Regina, on the other hand, looked perfect as always. This was an unfair battle.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just came back to grab something I forgot.” Regina didn’t take her eyes off of Emma’s. Her stare was so intense Emma was afraid the woman was seeing into her soul. “You didn’t have to turn the music off, it was good.” She kept staring at Emma, and the blonde didn’t respond. Iron and magnet. The brunette raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer. When she didn’t get one started walking towards her office. 

When she got out of Emma’s sight the girl finally regained consciousness and was able to process what had just happened. She put the music back on and tried to get back to her reading, and attempt that obviously failed. She starred at her book for 5 minutes saying to herself that this was all in her head and that no, following Regina to her office was definitely not a good idea. But she had another idea, one that she judged good enough. She took off her sweater, revealing a white t-shirt inside that was quite transparent due to its wet state. Let’s test something. She had to know if those looks weren’t only in her imagination. If she had any power, any control over Regina, at least a tenth of what Regina had over her, she had to know. It wasn’t on her intentions to act on it, at least not actively. She didn’t like chasing people, because she hated the idea of being rejected again. But she could tease.

Minutes later the brunette came out with a bunch of brown paper envelopes she hadn’t been carrying before. She walked towards Emma, and, hearing her steps, Emma turned around to face her. When she did so Regina’s steps lost their rhythm and her eyes went straight to the blonde’s chest region. She inattentively bit her lower lip and her eyes traveled up only to find Emma staring at her with a grin. The older woman swallowed and regained her composure. She continued her walk towards the girl, now with that deadly stare ornamenting her face. She was regaining the power, and that made Emma’s heart jump on her chest. Oh fucking god, what is she doing. When Regina reached the table never taking her eyes off of Emma, she took an umbrella out of her purse and put it next to Emma’s book, on the table. “Try not to get a pneumonia.” She winked and started walking away.

“Thank you” Emma was at the same time disappointed and relieved.

“It’s not a problem, dear, I have an extra one. Oh, and again, great song.” She smiled “Have a good evening, miss Swan.” Regina said as she was walking out of the door.

Well, she couldn’t keep her eyes off my chest. Emma thought as she ran her hands through the umbrella. Does this mean something? This woman will drive me crazy. First she stares at me like she’s eating me with her eyes at the lab; then she observes me running and again during class. Then she completely ignores my existence for a month and now there she is, staring at me again, saying my name, teasing me (the teasing part I deserved), caring about my lungs??? 

Her train of thought was interrupted as an alarm sounded on her cellphone informing her that the machine had finished running her experiment.


	5. Chapter 5

         “ _Emma, where is Mary Margaret? We are already late for this party”_

 

         “ _I don’t know she said she had something to do at the lab but that she would be quick, and that was… 20 minutes ago. Try calling her again”_

Ruby hit the call button twice and once again received the message that that number was unreachable at the moment _“Nothing.”_

_“I’ll go there to get her. It’s is near and I have to give Regina back her umbrella.”_ Emma got up and picked the umbrella that was carefully kept behind the door.

 

         “ _Oh, you are just finding an excuse to go see her dressed like this.”_ Ruby pointed her fingers up and down Emma’s body. The blonde girl was wearing a blouse with a really low neckline, showing her cleavage, tight black jeans and heeled shoes that made her butt look enormous. “ _And I’m not judging”_

        

         Emma winked at the girl and left their dorm. She couldn’t deny that she was excited to see Regina’s reaction to her look. I mean, if yesterday she had lost her decorum just because of some kind-of-transparent t-shirt, imagine this. Emma was excited with expectation. Maybe _just maybe_ she could sweep Regina off her feet. In no more than 5 minutes Emma arrived at the lab and found Mary Margaret with her hair done, her face with make-up and a beautiful floral dress. One would say she was ready to go to the party except for the fact that over her dress was a lab coat and the girl was running from one bench to the other with some test-tubes on her hand. Emma watched the scene, fascinated.

 

_“You are late.”_

 

Mary didn’t even take the time to look at Emma “ _I know”._

_“Do you need some help?”_

 

 _“No thanks. Give 2 minutes. Literally 2 minutes and I’m done. God I need a drink today.”_ Mary Margaret’s face looked worn-out.

 

“ _Ok… take your time. I’ll go give this back to Regina, be back soon” Mary nodded in response, not taking her eyes off her tubes. Emma grinned at the scene. It was cute how focused the girl was._

 

         She reached Regina’s office and knocked lightly at her door. _“Come in.”_ Emma pushed the door and found Regina leaning on her table, reading some papers. She looked hot with her reading glasses on.

 

         “ _I brought your umbrella back.”_ Emma said, as she lifted it to show her. Regina looked at the girl, then at the umbrella, not paying much attention at any of them.

         “ _Leave it by the door, please.”_ She said harshly, pointing to a spot next to the door frame where her other umbrella was.

 

         _Well, that was definitely not what I was expecting._ Regina barely took her eyes of her paper to talk to Emma. _“Thank you again”_ Emma said, but Regina didn’t bother to answer. Emma turned around and left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

         When she came back to Mary Margaret the girl was already out of her lab coats. _“I’m ready!”_ the brunette said excitingly but didn’t get the same vibe from Emma, whose face was tense. _“Is everything ok?”_

 

         _“I think I might need a drink or two today too”_ Emma grabbed Mary’s hand and guided her out of the lab.

 

*****************************

 

The place was crowded. Tons of drunken students releasing pheromones in the air. It smelled like beer and sweat. The music was so loud Emma couldn’t even hear her thoughts, but maybe this was a good thing. “ _We have to find the beer_ ” Emma turned to Mary and Ruby and grabbed their hand. People were laughing, making out, dancing and singing loudly to the music “ _ok, maybe something stronger_ ”. In the middle of the living room, a table held a beer pong championship and, to the left, there was a large table serving as a bar. Emma quickly spotted the vodka bottle and grabbed it.

         _“Open your mouth and get on your knees”_ Emma said to Mary Margaret.

         _“What?_ ” Mary replied, astonished _“you aren’t even paying me dinner first?”_

         _“We arrived here too late, now we have to compensate the time lost, just trust me. Didn’t you say you needed a drink?”_

_“A drink, not alcoholic coma.”_

         _“Oh give me that”_ Ruby grabbed the bottle from Emma’s hand and drank something worth three shots. _“Now you get on your knees”_ Emma obeyed and Ruby filled her mouth with vodka _“Don’t swallow”_ Emma closed her mouth and Ruby grabbed both sides of her head and shook it vigorously. When Emma opened her eyes, the whole world was turning.

         “ _That was… interesting. And definitely not something I could do. Can we go find some beer?”_ Emma nodded, stretching her arms so one of them would help her get up. Mary grabbed it and lifted the girl.

 

*****************************

         An hour and a couple of beers later the three girls found themselves sitting on a couch by the pool, too drunk to care about the explanation of how that couch got there.

         The three girls were staring fixedly at the pool where a few people were having a conversation dressed only in their underwear. “ _Regina completely ignored my existence today.”_ Emma said as she took a sip from the beer can she was holding. _“I kissed Belle earlier”_ Ruby said, now taking a sip of her own beer. _“I went on a date with David Nolan”_ now it was Mary Margaret’s turn to take a sip. When she was done, however, she found the two other girls staring at her in shock. _“You what?”_ They said in unison.

         “ _I know, I know. But he has been flirting with me for quite some time now and I know he is married but he is separated, just waiting for the divorce papers to be filled, and… oh god, I think I’m in love with him.”_ The girl hugged her legs and buried her face in them. “ _I’m a whore”_

 _“Oh sweetie, you are not a whore.”_ Emma put her hand on Mary Margaret’s back, stroking her gently _“If anything you are my idol. You got a professor to fall for you.”_ she said jokingly.

         _“What do you mean by Regina ignoring your existence, Emma?”_ Ruby turned her attention to the blonde now.

         _“It’s just… It’s silly. You know how I went all hot-looking to give back her umbrella and she just… didn’t notice. But why would she, right? I’m probably just another student she barely pays attention too. I think I’m creating too many fantasies in my head.”_ Emma’s tone carried sadness.

         “ _Well, I think you look hot.”_ Ruby said, getting closer to the girl _. “And you should not be thinking about her”_ Ruby was very close now, her face inches away from Emma’s. When Emma realized it, they were already making out. Mary looked at them and left unnoticed on a quest to find a bathroom. The making out was going on for 2 minutes when both girls realized that maybe this wasn’t a good decision.

         _“Oh God, what just happened”_ Ruby couldn’t look directly in Emma’s direction.

 _“Well, from my part I can tell you that I am really sad and heartbroken. Your motives might have something to do with Belle?”_ Emma raised one eyebrow, a questioning tone to her voice.

         “ _I… She is really nice you know? But Emma, you know I don’t do relationships. I can’t kiss only one person for the rest of my life.”_

_“Well, maybe you can if it is a really good kiss?”_

_“We should go home.”_

_“Yeap.”_ Emma rose from the coach too quickly. She felt dizzy and fell on the coach again “ _Or maybe we can stay here and wait for Mary Margaret to come back”_ a grin formed on her face, she couldn’t even keep her eyes open. Ruby laughed at her. _“Regina better stop messing with your mind or soon you won’t have a liver”._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Remind to keep hydrated. @capshawzete

         The next day Emma ditched her practice in the morning. She was in no shape to run. She was barely in shape to walk. She woke at 10a.m. and went straight to the laboratory for a meeting with the students involved in her project. She was already 10 minutes late for the meeting and when she got there the first thing she saw was _of course_ Regina. _You love me, universe, don’t you?_

She took of her sunglasses and sat on the only available chair, on the opposite side of the table to Regina. Emma looked like shit, her head was throbbing and her stomach was now remembering her that it existed (she just couldn’t decide if that meant she was hungry or that she needed to throw up). She didn’t pay attention to any of the things that were being discussed. All she could do was stare at Regina angrily. The woman was, once again, ignoring her existence, not even bothering to look at her. She talked directly to every single person present, except Emma, and this was enraging her. At the same time, however, she could help but look at Regina’s lips and think about how much she would like to take them, to kiss that little scar she had on her upper lip; how much she wanted to undo every single bottom of that blouse.

         _“The meeting is over. Don’t forget that this Saturday evening we have the institute’s anniversary party. Everyone is invited and should come.”_ Regina said, her husky voice driving Emma mad. _“Miss Swan, can I see you in my office, please?”_

Emma looked at her confused. _Well, that is unexpected._ It took her a few seconds before she responded to the request but after her delay she quickly got up and followed Regina to her office.

         _“You were very distracted at the meeting today.”_ Regina said as she poured some water into a glass.

         _“I have a headache”_ Emma replied dryly. She was not getting into Regina’s game. She was done with it.

         “ _Late partying yesterday?”_ She said, offering the girl some water.

Emma took the glass from her hands and took a sip. _“In fact, yes.” So she did notice that I was dressed for a party._ A small smile appeared on her face.

         Regina raised her eyebrows in surprise. She kept her gaze on the girl, but Emma didn’t look back at her at any moment. Instead, the girl’s eyes travelled throughout her office, stopping on some books or frames with important diplomas she had on her wall. Emma could feel Regina’s eyes on her but she strongly avoided them, keeping the most relaxed posture she could; she didn’t want Regina to know that she was uncomfortable. She wanted Regina to think that she didn’t care. When Emma finished her glass of water she finally looked in Regina’s direction.

         “ _Is that all? You called me in here to ask me about my night and keep me hydrated?”_ a sarcastic smile formed on her face.

Regina chuckled at the girl’s comment. Her face had an indecipherable expression. Did she seem pissed? _“That is not all, but you may go.”_

 _“Thank you for the water”_ Emma said as she left the empty glass on Regina table and turned around to leave. She added a little sway to her exit walk, knowing that Regina would be staring at her.

         _If she thinks she’ll always have the upper hand, she is wrong._ This was one of Emma’s confident days.

_****************_

It was the night of the party and Emma was on her room getting ready with the much-needed assist of Ruby and Belle. While they talked about make up and decided what dress Emma would wear, Ruby and Belle exchanged a lot of looks and touches. _I’ll have to ask Ruby about that later._

 

“ _Please, help me choose a dress that will boost my confidence. Regina will definitely be there looking amazing and I don’t know how long I can keep up with the I don’t care about you vibe. I have to make her weak in the knees.”_

They end up choosing a halter black dress with an open back that fell loosely around her body ending in the middle of her thigh, matched with black cut out heels. Her lips were painted in a deep purple and her eyes carried just the slightest touch of mascara. Her blonde curls hung in a tight ponytail.

 

 _“You look amazing”_ Belle was proud of their work.

**********************

 

At 8:20pm, as planned, she arrived at the party. The place wasn’t yet so full and she could walk around easily. She found the nearest bar, ordered a glass of white wine and started looking around for any familiar faces. It didn’t take her long to find Mary Margaret in a corner, near the food table.

 

_“Hey, Mary!”_

_“Hello, Emma!”_ Mary Margaret opened a wide smile and hugged Emma and before the blonde could say anything she kept on talking _“Oh, thank god you arrived. David is here. It’s the first time I see him since he officially divorced and… ”_ She stopped talking and looked at Emma’s face; her gaze completely lost in the crowd “ _Emma are you ok?”_

The girl blinked and looked back at Mary Margaret _“Yeah, sure. Hm.. sorry.. what were you talking about?”._ The brunette looked at Emma with a questioning look and them reverted her gaze to where Emma had previously been looking. She suddenly realized why the girl had been paying no attention to what she had been saying.

 

_“Oh, Regina arrived.”_

 

“ _Yeap.”_ Emma tried but failed to keep her eyes away from Regina. The older woman’s hair was straight and perfectly styled, hugging her face, and her lips were as red as blood. She was wearing a deep red cocktail dress that hugged and enriched every curve of her body and _oh my god are those? Yeap, she is wearing pantyhose. “and I need another glass of wine. I am definitely not ready to pretend I don’t care about all of that”_ Emma knew she looked good but it was humanly impossible to look better than Regina, and all of her confidence had been washed down the drain.

 

They found the nearest bar and Emma ordered another glass of wine. Emma was drinking it all too quickly when she felt a scent of Apples suddenly invading the air around her. She didn’t have to turn around to see who was there. But she did anyway.

 

 _“Good evening Ms. Blanchard, Ms. Swan”_ Regina’s eyes were fixed on Emma, gazing up and down her body and stopping at some pretty specific spots, which made every single hair in Emma’s arm rise. _Well, at least she is not ignoring my existence again._

_“Good evening Ms. Mills”_ The brunette replied, but Emma didn’t say a word. Her eyes were fixed on Regina’s, and she could see her pupils were dilated. They stayed in this staring game for a few seconds. Regina then raised one eyebrow to the blonde, still waiting for her response.

“ _Good evening”_ her voice came out croaky. A small smile formed on Regina’s lips but she turned her attention to the pixie haired girl in front of her.

 

“ _I hear you are graduating this year Ms. Blanchard. David told me you are thinking about moving to Boston.”_ Regina had an indifferent tone to her voice, like she couldn’t care less about the conversation. She kept throwing looks at Emma’s direction.

 

_“Yes, I definitely am. I got a great job opportunity there working for Applied biosystems”_

_“It is a great opportunity. Hopefully you will do well there.”_ She looked at Emma again, but the blonde was looking away ” _Well, I have some other people to small talk to. Find me monday on my office so I can give you the papers you asked me to sign. Have a great party girls.”_

“ _That was some intense staring game. She barely blinked.”_

 

“ _And tomorrow she will be ignoring me again. I really don’t get her Mary”_ Emma sounded pissed, but also sad. She wanted to get Regina. She wanted to understand what was happening on her mind. She wanted this to be more than a game of staring and teasing where one was always trying to be on top.

 

_“Come on, forget about her for a little. There is free food and free drinks, let’s have some fun”._

Emma did as demanded. She drank a lot, talked to a lot of people, and laughed with her friends. But every once in a while she would catch herself glancing for a prolonged period of time at Regina, who would always be talking to some important professor. Their eyes would sometimes meet, they would stare at each other, but soon Regina would turn her attention back to her conversation or Emma back to hers. Regina was also drinking a lot. Emma had seen at least 5 cups of red wine passing through her hands, and every single one of them had left her hands empty.

 

“ _Stop staring”_ Mary said jokingly to Emma.

 

“ _It’s just… God Mary, I just wanted her to want me. She is so beautiful and intelligent. You know I have a weak spot for intelligence?”_ Emma’s voice was sharper than usual, and the girl was now on her 6th glass of wine.

 

 _“Yes, she is intelligent. And you are drunk. But you too are very intelligent and pretty, I don’t see why you put her in such a pedestal, she is the one who is losing by not having you”_ The brunette said as she fixed a hair that was coming loose on the blonde’s ponytail.

 

Emma closed her eyes for a few seconds. She wanted to believe that what Mary was saying was true, but every time she was around Regina she felt so little. She couldn’t imagine the woman ever wanting her. They teased, and she loved the attention, but she knew things wouldn’t get pass the stares and provocations. Regina wouldn’t want anything more with her.

 

“ _I just… I came here today ready to be all confident and here am I, suffering… I wish I just didn’t care that much.”_

Mary was about to say something in response but as she was doing so, David passed through, on his way to the bar. Mary couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. “ _Hey, look, I gotta.. go.. really fast. Promise me you will be ok. And remember that you are amazing”_

_“I’ll be ok”_ Emma didn’t know how much truth there were in this words, but she would try. Sometimes she thought to herself _maybe I should be the one to take initiative and get this over with._ But she knew she could never attempt anything with Regina – if she didn’t feel the same way things would get really weird at the lab. Actually, she could never go back to the lab. And she didn’t do well with rejections. So yes, she was stuck in this limbo, at the mercy of Regina’s will.

 

**************************

 

As the clock approached 10:30pm Emma had lost sight of Regina, had lost the company of Mary Margaret, who was now somewhere with David, and really, really needed to pee. _Damn you alcohol and your ADH inhibition._ She found the closest restroom and, luckily enough, there wasn’t a line. Actually there was only an old woman, whom she identified as being professor Athena, leaving. She quickly used the bathroom, and as she was washing her hands and checking on her make-up she heard the sound of heels clicking and a door locking. She saw through the mirror Regina walking in and her heart stopped. The woman didn’t say a word as she walked towards the cabins. _Ignoring me again? Already?_ However, all of a sudden she interrupted her path when she arrived behind Emma. She stood still, her perfume filling the place. With a sudden move she turned to Emma and touched lightly her arm, now looking right into her eyes through the mirror, an insecure look on her face. Emma had never seen that look and she turned around in response. As she did that Regina’s lips caught hers and her body pressed Emma’s against the sink. Regina put her hand behind Emma’s neck and pulled her closer and she inhaled deeply. She then backed up her face, waiting to see if Emma would kiss her back and the blonde quickly attacked her lips. Regina moaned and put her hand on Emma’s hair and pulled her head back a little, letting less than an inch stand between their mouths.

 

 _“Thank God for alcohol”_ Regina said, keeping her grip steady on Emma’s head as she left a trail of kisses on her jaw line until she reached Emma’s ear _“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, and this ebrious state gave me just the courage I needed”_ Those words broke Emma. She grabbed the older woman’s head and made her lips touch again, now tasting Regina’s lower lip with her tongue and asking for entrance; she tasted like wine and… apples? _Is this woman made of apples?_ As Regina opened her mouth, she let go of Emma’s hair and grabbed her ass, lifting her and sitting her on the sink, positioning herself between the blonde’s legs. The kiss was passionate, each woman exploring fully the other woman’s mouth, their tongues playing together and their hands experiencing every new curve of the other woman’s body.

 

Regina lips left Emma’s and started exploring her neck, licking the border of her neck muscle and resting on a particularly sensitive spot right on her carotid’s pulse. Regina sucked gently, which was sufficient to make Emma moan and throw her head back. She was extremely turned on, and her left hand rapidly found Regina’s breast and cupped it, while her right hand, located on Regina’s lower back, was pulling the woman towards her. Regina’s left hand quickly grabbed Emma’s and pressed it hard against her chest, putting pressure on her breasts as moan escaped her lips. _God, that’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard_ Emma thought. She could feel her panties soaked. Regina’s right hand was on Emma’s thigh, ascending slowly and lifting her dress. She was almost reaching her panties when a knock on the door interrupted them.

 

Regina rolled her eyes and looked in the direction of the door “ _It’s occupied”_ she responded extremely fast and with an impressively monotonous tone to it. It certainly didn’t look like she was almost fucking Emma right there and now. _“I think we better stop here tonight,”_ the brunette said, but she couldn’t keep her eyes off Emma’s lips _“it’s been 10 minutes since I entered the restroom, people will start to get suspicious”_ her voice was low and husky and as she talked her lips kept gravitating towards Emma’s, barely touching them. She sounded like sex, and Emma couldn’t open her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE A TEST IN 11 DAYS AND HAVE STUDIED ONLY 15.15% OF THE PAGES (YES I HAVE COUNTED I AM THAT DESPERATE) SO I MAY TAKE 3 YEARS TO POST A NEW CHAPTER. BUUUUT, I'll try my best to post another one in 15 DAYS (or less) I SWEAR I AM TRYING MY BEST DON'T HATE ME. & Stay Hydrated.
> 
> capshawzete at tt

"You can open your eyes, you know. I'll still be here"

Emma did as demanded and as soon as she opened her eyes they met Regina's. She had that deep penetrating look, the same one she gave Emma at the laboratory the day she let the pencils fall on the floor. She was biting her lower lip the same way she did when she saw Emma with the transparent white shirt. Emma inhaled deeply and Regina smiled at her.

Suddenly, however, Regina's expression became blank and her body drifted away from Emma's, who quickly missed the warmth "Regina..." her voice was low and shy and ... confused.

The woman, who was fixing her make-up in the mirror, didn't look at the blond or showed any intention to respond to her. Emma grabbed her arm strongly and with anger and turned her so that they were facing "You don't get to come here and kiss me and say you've been wanting to do this and then kiss me some more and now pretend that nothing happened."

"I…" that insecure look came back to Regina's face "We have to talk… but not here, and not today. Meet me at my office tomorrow at 4pm, ok?" she asked, her eyes trying not to look into Emma's. Emma nodded and Regina exhaled and got her arms free from Emma's grip. She walked away towards the door "And clean your face before leaving, it's a mess" she said as she unlocked it and went away.

Emma got off of the sink quickly, before anyone got in, and looked herself in the mirror, fixing her clothes. She was, indeed, a mess. Her ponytail was completely ruined from Regina pulling it, and her purple lipstick had now left the territory of her lips and spread out all around them. And on top of all of that, a small hickey had appeared on the left side of her neck, just below the angle of her jaw. There were too many thoughts running through Emma's mind but most of them could be resumed to what the fuck just happened? Someone entering the bathroom interrupted her thoughts. She grabbed her purse and walked away. She didn't even look for Mary Margaret. She had to go to her dorm. She had to put her thoughts in place. She had to be prepared for tomorrow.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a pleasurable Sunday afternoon – the sun was up in the sky, there was a cool breeze making its way through the buildings and that essence of laziness was feeling the air. It was, as most Sundays, a perfect day to lie calmly in bed and relax, catching up on your reading or TV shows. However, Emma was anything but calm. She was a pile of nerves.

"BEST CASE SCENARIO SHE IS THROWING ME OUT." Emma walked frantically from one side to the other on her small dorm room as Belle's, Ruby's and Mary's eyes followed her "Who does she think she is? SHE kissed me. I didn't ask for it. Not explicitly. And now she becomes all... GAH"

"We have only 5 more minutes of this, she will have to go sooner or later." Mary whispered to Ruby as she looked into her wristwatch.

"In 5 minutes she may start combustion, I don't feel safe in here" Ruby responded.

"Emma, sweetie" Belle tried talking to the blonde, but her attempt was ignored. Emma couldn't get out of her bubble of desperation. Belle got up and stood in the way of the blond, preventing her from walking and making her look right at her "Emma, you can't know what is happening. Just go. Maybe she is just afraid you will go around telling everyone about this. Maybe she also is insecure about this, like you. You know she isn't made of stone, as much as she likes to make people think she is. Everybody has doubts and concerns, even the Evil Queen." Emma inhaled deeply. Belle was probably right. "Ok, I'm going"

"OH THANK GOD," Ruby said, a little too loudly, which made Emma shoot and angry look at the girl "sorry I was just worried about you… and my safety" Ruby laughed and Emma replied by throwing a pillow at the girl's direction.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Emma got in the laboratory at 3:55. The place was empty, and Emma walked as slowly and lightly as she could, trying not to make any sound. As she reached Regina's door she rose her arm to knock on it but she soon retracted it out of what Emma could only describe as fear of what was coming next. She took two steps back and inhaled deeply as she thought about her next actions. Maybe she could pretend she was never there, say she wasn't feeling well and delay the conversation for another day. Or maybe she could face it like a grown woman. However, before Emma could decide, the door opened and the image of Regina took over her sight.

"I saw your shadow under the door," Regina said as she made a motion to welcome Emma to the room "I was entertaining myself wondering how long you'd take to get in, but after a minute or so I got bored. Water?"

"No, thank you" Emma's voice was dry. She was standing as still as a statue, right next to Regina's door, as the older woman walked across the room to reach for the water. "Are you sure? It's important to stay hydrated" Regina looked at Emma but the girl didn't bother to reply, she just stared at the brunette, clearly wanting her to stop with the chitchat. Regina raised an eyebrow "Ok, then. Please, have a seat. You shouldn't tire yourself" She moved one of the chairs that were in front of her table, motioning for Emma to sit there. When the blonde did, Regina took the other chair and sat next to the blond, facing her, instead of across the table. This act alone made Emma shiver. But Regina didn't say a word next, she just drank her water, slowly as she could, and stared at Emma. Emma noticed that her face had very little make up today, and her lips were not painted red as usual. Yet, the woman looked even more beautiful than ever. She could spend hours looking at this piece of art, but the strong and fast beating heart on her chest reminded her that there were more important issues to be addressed.

The blonde cleared her throat and finally broke the silence "We have to talk about yesterday". Only God knows how hard it was for Emma to get these words out of her mouth. A little smile formed on Regina's lips but her eyes, now looking into the glass of water she was holding, didn't carry much joy in them. She seemed worried or… sad?

"We do. After all, that is why I called you here." She now took her eyes out of the glass and looked at Emma. Her finger, however, was still nervously tapping the glass. "Dear, the alcohol may have erased my sense of right and wrong yesterday, and for that I'm sorry. I should not have kissed you. You weren't in your best state of mind either. It was wrong and I take the blame for it. If we could just forget it happened and move on with our lives, I think it would be better" Regina talked fast and monotonically as if she had rehearsed the speech. As soon as she was over she stood up to fetch herself another glass of water. Emma stared at nothing in particular, trying to digest what she had just learned. It wasn't as bad as she thought. But it wasn't good either. This Regina did not look at all like the Regina full of desire that had met her in the bathroom yesterday. This Regina was frigid and distant. She liked the other version better.

"Are you going to ignore my existence again when this little talk is over?" Emma felt like a venture who had just run into a bear and decided that it was a good idea to poke it.

"Pardon me?" Regina was perplexed.

"Like you always do. You know, all the flirting, even when you are sober, here in meetings, or when you watch me practicing, or when you stare at me during classes, and then I don't know what gets in your head and you decide that maybe flirting with a student isn't such a good idea, and you ignore me for days or weeks, and then the cycle starts again. You know Regina, I am not a toy. I didn't mind at first because I thought it was all in my head, but after yesterday I realized that it wasn't and you know, there were two of us there yesterday. I wasn't a little girl, unaware of what was happening, that let you do whatever you wanted with me. I wanted it as much as you did. And you don't get to tell me now that I should just forget about it because I don't want to. And maybe you regret it, maybe you are afraid, but I don't, and I am not. But I won't keep up with your hot and cold little games. Today you tell me to forget about it, tomorrow you are staring at me, the next day you won't look my way. I can say out loud that I want to kiss you right here and now. And until you can be this honest with me and with yourself, we are done."

Emma stood up and walked away from Regina's office, closing the door behind her. Fuck, what have I done.


End file.
